Doing: Writing this blog; surfing the net; answering e-mails
Watching: SMALLVILLE; SUPERNATURAL
Listening to: "So Much For Salvation" by Mindless Faith
Reading: Reunion by Michael Jan Friedman
TOPIC: RELEASE DATE FOR THE STARCHILD DELAYED OR DEAD--TAKE YOUR PICK.
Like so many times in the past, I've had to deal with insurmountable obstacles in getting my books done, books being published, and so on.
So many times, I've had to halt my projects over the years because of times of personal crisis, transition, and even moving from one state to the next--only to resume; only to start again.
From scratch.
7 years ago, I was this close to publishing The Starchild. But 9/11 happened and my dreams of becoming a traditionally published author went up in smoke.
So I had to start over and start from scratch. Again.
This time, I thought for certain that I was going to overcome this...stigma, and finally be able to have a book under my belt.
Even if it's self-publishing.
Unfortunately, that's not to be the case.
Since I don't have a job--and things look to make it so that I can't trust myself to work again--my Social Security benefits have been used to partially fund my dreams.
I thought for sure that nothing would be able to interfere with that.
Sadly, this isn't one of those times.
In 2000, I was working 2 jobs to support myself--having lived with an ex-roomie of mine since 1997; off and on.
At this time, I wasn't receiving Social Security--but I was still getting my medical. Now whether or not this ties in with the debt I now owe Social Security--I don't know.
But the sudden $3,191 that I owe (7 years later) has now crushed any slim chances that I will be able to publish The Starchild until at least 2012.
Or 2019. I don't know. Depends on what happens next month.
As some people know, I've invested in the services of a professional editor, but this sudden drop in my income has put a serious question mark on my ability to keep the payments going every month.It's going to take me 29 months to finish the payments instead of 10. (I still have $2200 to go.)
And I can't repeal this. Social Security is adamant that I pay back the amount that I owe. It's either that or face termination--and that includes my medical--until April of 2008.
But given the fact that I need my medical to stay alive, there is little I can do.
I don't know how I've been able to stay afloat on what little I have, but now, I am going to have less.
Starting in November, my new amount until 2011 will be $519.
And that's if housing will accept the fact that I have lost $115 in my income--rather than just having withheld it. Because all I will have is $262 left open. And I have $176 dollars in bills each month to pay.
I know, it's not much left on limited income. But there's nothing I can do. Finding work--now--is just going to kill me later with my benefits.
That's the hard lesson that I've learned about being disabled: You can't trust anything Social Security says anymore. It's just one big trap.
Apologies to anyone and everyone has been hoping to buy the book in a couple of years.
I know that this isn't what you wanted to hear. But my hands are tied again.
I just wish there was some other way I can do this quickly and efficiently. I really do.
But I am fresh out of miracles on this front. I played a good hand for the longest time and I lost.
Now, all I can do...
Is start over from scratch. Begin again.
Sky
