NEW MARCHING ORDERS ARE FINALLY IN? (33 DAYS LEFT)

Status: Packing up still. We have about 92% of the heavy stuff boxed up.

I also wrote a few more pages on The Vampiress Hunter today. A little happier I can write, but it doesn't take the heavy apprehensiveness that I am feeling right now.

Watching: Nothing.

Listening to: Taped music. "Red Phoenix"--by Decoded Feedback

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 555.

TOPIC: GODS...HOW I HATE THIS...

Can't say that I'm all overjoyed by the latest news we got from housing. (Three weeks after the fact.)

They didn't count the amount my mother-in-law gave my wife over the past year ($217) against me as "income"--but the new housing voucher numbers leaves me with a bit of a conundrum: Can we realistically stay here by moving into a one-bedroom?

Will housing allow us to?

But either way, we're screwed six ways till the start of the next century.

That's for sure.

I have to prepare for all types of contingencies. I can't just wait until housing gives us the all clear--which could take another week.

At least I know now that I have to get a storage unit. And the bigger...the better. (We have a lot more stuff than I thought.)

I wrote a little more on The Vampiress Hunter--giving Marlena a date for the night.

At least she's having better luck than her is creator at the moment. :9(

(It bites when your book characters have it better than you do.)

Sky

A WRITER'S GUIDE TO TORTURING YOUR OC'S

PRICE GOUGING OF THE WORST KIND

Status: Got a few rolls of packaging tape--from the $25 my inlaws gave my wife for her birthday.

It's good enough to get things going again--for just a little while.

But we have so much to do between now and the first of September. (Which is now 9 days away. Then it's 4 weeks to zero hour.)

I also wrote a few pages on The Vampiress Hunter. But don't expect me to applaud myself. I'm still not in full 'writing mode' yet.

There's still too much going on for me to remain completely focused on my book projects.

Watching: Oddly enough, the TV functions normally--after plugging it in for a test, Thursday. I think the convertor gave it a coronary and it "flipped out".

Five months off and it works now.

It's just too bad we may not be around much longer to enjoy it.

Listening to: Taped music. "A Daisy Chain For Satan."--By My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult.

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 555.

TOPIC: HARD TIMES A'COMIN'.

My wife got $25 for her birthday today. And since we were (still are) in desperate need of some packaging tape and cat food, we decided to get both--since the cats were running low and we had zero tape.

When we shopped at Wal-Mart, we were...to put it bluntly stunned by what we saw.

One roll of packing tape--the clear stuff: $4.44 each.

2 rolls together? $4.44 each.

The 4-paks? $8.49.

One bag of catfood? Up a dollar from last month to $10.98.

It took us 20 minutes to decide what we needed. Forget me transplanting more from my garden this month with new potting soil to mix with the old--I made the ultimate sacrifice and spent what little money I had left on making sure we had enough packaging tape to last us for at last 5 more days--enough to pack more stuff into the boxes I got a few days ago.

So we got 2 rolls of the packaging tape for $4.44, the bag of catfood, and I went and got 2 smaller packing rolls for $4.26.

But I couldn't believe this! I could understand buying stuff in bulk or two-for-onsies and all that sorts of thing...but when they start charging the same price for a single as they do a double--that's where I start to look at myself, look at the world I live in and think: We are so fucked.

Pardon my language, but this kind of price-gouging just hurts people like myself.

I sat at the Subway express counter and thought to myself: "This has got to end. We're just getting priced out of everything--not just my comics, or my occasional book, or a candy bar--but everything."

Rent, utilities, public transportation, basic essentials...

I don't honestly know how much longer I'm going to be able to continue absorbing everything. I'm barely hanging on as it is.

And next year, they are forecasting food prices are going up another 5% to 6% in 2009.

How the hell am I supposed to keep up with kind of inflation? All it's doing is hurting me.

I try to do what I can to make every dollar I have count. But it doesn't seem to go as far as I would've liked. Have a little extra lying around. A tiny reserve cushion.

But it's not there.

All I can think of is how my mom did it with raising the three of us by herself so many years ago, and I just can't see how I can apply the same principle to a world that's 24 years out of place and 53 times more expensive; with so little money.

What do I do? What do I spend it on? What's more important?

Despite my best efforts, I'm rapidly losing this fight. I just don't know where to turn to next for help.

I...I just don't know anymore. The government just doesn't seem to give a shit about people in my situation...the middle-class is pretty much history--and everybody I know here in cyberspace and the real world is hurting.

My father-in-law lost his job yesterday and it's thrown my inlaws into a state of near-panic--since his income was paying most of the bills all these years--since I got married to April.

And now...even she's contemplating divorce because she doesn't want to live in a tent or out on the streets.

When I got home today, I put my foot down. I said: "We've been through a lot together these last 6.5 years and the last thing I need is you to tell me we should get divorced because we are in a serious fix right now. We aren't separating and that's that. We'll get through this somehow. We always do." I went into the bedroom and wanted to see if Jaws III recorded while we were gone. (A bad recording--but okay to watch.)

I'm just tired of that. Ever since I can remember, I've always been shut out of everything. The moment a crisis pops up with my family, my well-being and wefare is sacrificed automatically for their personal comfort.

I'm left flailing out of control.

My mother takes in my two brothers and I get left to fend for myself. This happened many times over the past 13 years--before they all left me for Vermont. But this kind of abuse scarred me deeply.

Sure, I was an adult back then, but I was not in a stable living situation either.

A few of my friends were sympathetic to my brothers' problems and causes; offering to help, but when it came to me?

"Tough luck. You can do without."

I told April when we were going to Wal-Mart today: "What did I do to deserve this kind of treatment? Did I piss off everyone the day I was born disabled and seen as a burden for the rest of this country in general? Why is that people have to treat me like this?"

I went on saying, "Julie (a crazed friend of my wife's) wants you to live with her--but not in a tent--but sees no problem with me living out on the streets or by myself--with no one to be with."

I said: "I can't have that. Not when my health is going down hill mighty fast and I might up dead by accident or something equally worse. And how would you know what happened to me if you weren't there? That's why I don't like Julie. She's too obsessed, uncaring, and selfish. She wants what we have, or don't want--and would rather have you all to herself than have me around either her, you, or Joseph. (Her boyfriend.)"

I finished by saying: "We are soulmates. Husband and wife. Bound by a mutual contract that pretty much illustrates what we are going through now: 'For better or for worse'. There is no bailing out when the going gets tough. No chickening out when faced with a cold reality. We have to do this together. Not apart."

I'll be damned if I'm going to let this happen to me. We went through hell together before getting married--both of us nearly dead for real.

I'm not to let something as being homeless be a cause to separate the two of us by proxy--because she's scared and I'm having issues of my own. Y'know?

This is the way the world is: No one cares, no one gives a shit. It's everybody for themselves when it comes to crunch time.

But I've sacrificed way too much to simply lose out on what little I have to me and the woman that I loved and married.

I'm not going to accept that!

Sky

A $500 LESSON

Status: Packing, packing, and more packing.

Watching: The rain come down in buckets.

Listening to: "Nevermeant-Version 2"--By Razed in Black

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 555.

TOPIC: CREDIT CHECK UPDATE

Some things should've been made more clearer to me when I first started out. But I guess when you live life as destitute as mine--some things tend to slip.

Our credit check came back rejected--as you all know--and yesterday, we got a letter explaining why. Some smaller outstanding collection debts is what dinged the two of us--not our student loan defaults.

Together, we owe about $500--which is preventing us from acquiring a new place to live. Of course, my understanding of things was: Bad credit affects your ability to purchase a home, buy a car, or a boat.

No one said anything about renting an apartment. It's odd is how in the past my brothers were still able to get into a place when they had bad credit--before they were married--but I strongly suspect that they didn't have tightening credit standards to deal with in the face of a shrinking market and continued fall out from the foreclosure market and credit crunch.

I believe that this is what contributed to our recent slew of rejections as well. But it's a little odd how we are getting dinged when the amount we owe is less than $1,000--and we have zero credit card debt. (The only one thing I am eternally grateful for with my limited income: Low income=zero credit cards.)

Like I said earlier, it most likely has to do with everyone tightening their credit standards--to also ensnare poor people like myself with bad credit; even though what I have isn't considered 'absolute critical' or 'high priority' requirements.

The ironic thing was, is that we were trying to get a place that accepts people with low income.

Never in a million years did I think I would get nailed on this front--seeing how we still have perfect rental history.

Just another lesson in life I'll have to take care of in the coming months--before next year's attempt is made once more. Hopefully then, things will have changed for the better. (And we're still hoping we can slide into a one-bedroom apartment. My FIL lost his job--which was paying the bills at my mother-in-law's place; and right now...? Neither my in-laws are very happy. My SIL is sleeping on their couch and my BIL has been living there for as long as I can recall--since getting married in 2002. So...the plan on staying with my inlaws for a few months after September is effectively scratched off.)

However, I was hoping that I wouldn't have to deal with this until after my first book was published. With the extra money, I was planning on wiping the slate clean.

The idea was this: I would stay where I was until 2012--by getting The Starchild published--build up my reserves of added income from my sales, pay off what little debt I have and our two student loans, and then move to Montana.

Least...that was the plan. (lol)

Of course, I wasn't expecting to move prematurely either. Or be forced to put off publishing the book until a latter date. (Which is still up in the air. However, I still want people to vote. This will give me an idea on how much people will be willing to pay for my novel--given how I'm not that greedy. But I figure...since I'm putting almost 20 years into this book, I'm entitled to a little leeway here. (I know, I know...I'm insane for taking this long with The Starchild. :0) ) )

Unfortunately, I couldn't do any of this with what I'm playing with now for income. Not when there is so much to do and so little time left to accomplish it in.

I had to pick my battles and fight what I could--and leave the rest to fate; while slowly building towards a better future for myself and my wife.

That's all I had left for me: My books. My happy little future for two people and a bunch of furry children.

Not much to ask for--is it?

Sky

(Final edit: 2:31 AM. August 21st, 2008.)

OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS TO FORGET!

Status: Screwed, blued, and tatooed.

Doing: Packing, packing, and...panicking. (Still. What would you expect when you have only six weeks left to get the schmuck out of Dodge?)

Watching: The sun set with temps in the low 80s. (We're in the middle of a mini-heatwave at the moment.)

Listening to: "She Sells Sanctuary"--by The Cult.

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 555.

TOPIC: BRAIN-DEAD AS USUAL.

Three years or so ago, I started buying containers at Wal-Mart--after we started seeing the writing on the wall that we would either have to move or be homeless.

Never once did I think that we would also be using packing boxes as well! lol

I envisioned that we would get everything into plastic containers long before we had to do anything. I wanted to graduate from using boxes for the first time ever and wanted something that held up better than cardboard.

But over the last 3 years, I did what I could with the containers. True, I got most of everything in them, but we still had a lot left over.

Buying packing tape never entered my mind. Not the least bit.

So--in my haste--I checked to see what we had for stores. Only two rolls so far; which we are using sparingly until I get my check on the 3rd of next month; which happens to be my next vascular appointment.

The trouble was--this is a rescheduled one. I had forgotten what time my appointment was and showed up 1.5 hours late. (My excuse? Well, you're looking at it: All the packing has caused us both to become very frazzled here.)

On a side note, I'm going to be giving out my new mailing address--so that people can contact me.

One on myspace, one on this blog, and one on my Yahoo! 360 page and also on Quick Topic. (Where my daily diary is being kept.)

This will be posted on or about the 5th of September. (If we can't secure something from housing first. The one-bedroom unit is looking less and less likely. But possibly, we could get into a renovated bottom-floor 2-bedroom unit. However, don't discount this being a lifesaver for the two of us. Housing still has to approve the rent amount. And if so, it could only buy us--at the most--another year here. After that, we won't be able to stay no matter what befalls us.)

After that, anyone is free to stay in touch with me and my wife.

Sky

GOING FROM REALLY BAD TO EXCESSIVELY WORSE

Status: Screwed, blued, and tatooed.

Doing: Packing, packing, and...panicking.

Watching: The sun set.

Listening to: Nothing at the moment.

Not unless you count more Razed in Black.

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 512.

TOPIC: CRUSHED

We could've pulled $20s out of our ass--turned back the hands of time--invented a time-machine--and do all the sorts of things we are now simply kicking ourselves in the ass for...in the here and now.

But the truth is...we can't change our destinies or our fates. We have to make what is given to us the best we can do.

And right now? Things aren't looking up for us. We are simply being railroaded and shuttered out--and it looks like this will be the end of us for the time being.

Our credit check came back denied. There was simply nothing that we could further do.

Forget doing future credit checks. We just got kicked hard in the stomach yesterday--after getting the crushing news. This means that we don't have a home outside of the one we have now.

I personally think that the foreclosure mess and the credit crunch had even the rental industry spooked badly. Because now, they are being so anal retentive over everything.

And we are still trying to figure out what the hell could've caused the denial. Our rental history is still perfect, but I'll admit, my credit history isn't great. And it isn't because of the stupid credit cards.

Never had one.

The primary thing is a student loan that I can no longer pay back. With my income low as it is and the prospects of finding a job again so remote...? There's not much we can do about that.

But this effectively shuts us out of 90% of all the current rental properties here in the Puget Sound.

Because with this denial, we already know what will happen when the others would come in as--if we made that decision to go ahead and continue next month. (Which I had planned.)

So...

I was right after all--but I wish to God I wasn't. However, this was going to happen to us sooner or later.

We are literally hitting the upper limits of flexibility and maneuvering room here--in regards to renting and staying put.

The cold reality now is that we are going to be homeless by the end of September. And it is the worst time to become homeless for this part of the state.

Our current management knows that we are on the ropes and there isn't much we can do to salvage our current situation--or save face for that matter.

We got another batch of possible bad news today. Our primary housing coordinator--who's a real bitch--decided that (after 6 years), my wife's small cash allotments from her mother every few months or so--should be treated as INCOME and be counted against me and my current amount.

I was appalled!

Truly!

How can one treat $20 or $40 every few months or so as income?

One, the money never stays. It's usually being used for things like laundry money...??? (Does that ever ring a bell with anyone here?! Seriously! I can only do so much with my limited income--and I do try to keep our piles of clothes...cleaned!!!)

So both my wife and I welcome my mother's charity now and then--to help us out. And we have never looked a gift horse in the mouth. Especially with recent events surrounding my cat, Kivata Gigante.

(Odd how housing never went after me for the amount that a collective few donated to get us through the month of April.)

But how could this be considered income??? Don't you have to have a thing called a J-O-B to have sources of stable cash flows?!

Gods!

So this whole mess--this whole affair could very well kill our housing. Bury it off the needle--because housing would demand that we pay back the amount my mother loaned us for small, inconsequential things to get us by.

Knowing my MIL, she wouldn't consent to handing over her account information willingly. And that would condemn us to being homeless for certain.

Without housing, we're fucked beyond repair. There would be little point in trying to find a place to live--because I simply don't have the money to get one.

It would take me years to get a place.

And even if we did have jobs, we still would be facing the same problems in the here and now.

Nothing would change.

People speak about the homeless problems, the need for affordable housing, and etc, etc, etc...but like one writer in the Everett Herald said today: "...there are a lot of good people trying their best to help, but they have little authority and less money. Good intentions are universally derailed by a petrified, pass-the-buck, not-my-job bureaucracy.

I can just see the poor street person, a pocket full of change from collecting cans, standing at a pay phone dialing number after number and getting the same answer -- no one is available to take your call now, but if you leave a message ... Sure."

This is generally what we would get.

But this wouldn't cure me or my wife of our impending homelessness problem.

So we have 6.5 weeks to try and change our situation for the better.

But it's a big IF.

I'm sorry if I don't sound all that optimistic. But when faced with losing the only place you've called home for 11 years now--it gets harder to look that same optimist in the eye and share in his or her bubbly enthusiasm.

My wife just wants to put her head under water and drown herself and I would rather put myself under the wheels of a bus and have the guy run me over.

That's how we felt today after getting that message from our housing coordinator--on top of everything else. We're both angry, frustrated, scared, helpless, and just plain worn out. We just don't have the faith, energy, or strength to carry on in the face of this plight.

We've done everything we can--but it's just not enough. There simply isn't anything there to catch us if we fall.

To allow us to keep going for just a little bit longer.

We are really on our own here.

I haven't felt the need to write since this problem started with our voucher being denied. I've tried...but it just doesn't seem to have that sense of urgency attached to it.

So I've stopped trying and just let things go for the time being. It hurts. The sharp pain in my soul--just overwhelming at times--but what can I do in the mean time?

Writing for me was just an escape mechanism from the world I lived in. When I was homeless in the mid-90s, it was just something for me to do. To pass the time.

But this time...it's different. I look at my writing like it's my lifeboat. My reason to escape this hell hole that poverty and abject income has sunk me under.

But I also knew that it was going to take me some time. And all I needed was just enough to get the ball rolling and something stabilized in my corner of the universe.

I got things rolling, but nowhere near enough to consider me good to go.

I just don't think I'll be able to finish what I started. Because I'm not going to be on the 'net to promote and advertise myself or The Starchild.

And that's going to be my main regret right then and there. I won't be here to share in what I've gone and created.

Because of our homeless situation.

Sky

TWILIGHT OVERLOAD

Status: In the middle of a housing crisis and not able to write on my projects currently--even though I'm still wanting to! lol

Doing: Transplanting my peppers into larger pots. (At least--I think those are peppers!)

Watching: The shadows on the wall--as the sun goes by.

Listening to: Nothing at the moment.

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 504.

TOPIC: ONE OVERWHELMED AUTHOR

I don't touch base on this--hell...I try to avoid discussing anything related to Harry Potter or Twilight--because neither book is my cup of tea.

I prefer to set my own course in life as a writer. I don't need to imitate someone else's success--when I have my own to rely on for inspiration and personal guidance.

But this article I found on the internet reminded me that not everything is so cut and dry when it comes to being published in the mainstream industry.

With each passing year, I find myself glad that I'm not going to be a part of it.

I don't need the headaches of becoming famous or finding myself overwhelmed--which I already am--or something that forces me to forget what it means to be a writer; than just being a commercial and literary success to someone else's bottom line.

Fans I can do without, the media attention I can ignore without regret, all the hundreds of thousands of dollars made from an advance...?

Nothing replaces the joy and the relief of having completed something that took a very long time to come to fruition.

Something I can take personal pride in--knowing that no one else will be able to duplicate what I set out to do and been able to do.

The article also served as a pointed reminder just how difficult and bad things have gotten for the publishing industry as a whole.

Things for them aren't getting any easier.

Which is why I avoid becoming so limited in my pursuits of becoming a self-published author under my own specialized imprint. (And that by itself--isn't evil; considering all the immense time, effort, and money I have been putting into this little venture of mine.)

I'm expecting some good to come out of all of this heartache, anguish, and personal pain which I've endured all these years.

Think of me as another Prometheus--pushing that giant boulder up that steep hill; according to the Greek mythos.

***

The Online Fan World of the Twilight Vampire Books

Harry who?

A year after J.K. Rowling wrapped up the blockbuster Harry Potter saga, author Stephenie Meyer has booksellers almost ready to forget the brilliant young wizard.

Her Twilight books, about the tangled relationship between a handsome vampire and an endearingly ordinary teenage girl, have become reliable smash hits.

When Breaking Dawn, the last of the four-book series, comes out on Aug. 2, it's expected to surpass all her previous efforts, with an initial print run of 3.2 million copies.

Meyers success isnt due simply to her vivid imagination for vampire romance. She also figured out before almost anyone in the book industry how to connect with readers over the Internet and inspire them to build on her work. Since Meyer published the first Twilight book in 2005, she has reached out to readers on social networking sites, such as MySpace (NYSE:NWS - News), and participated in online discussion groups.

Fired-up fans have championed her books on Amazon.com (NasdaqGS:AMZN - News) and set up their own sites, such as Twilight Lexicon and TwilightMOMS. That has helped propel sales of the series to 7.5 million books. "Other authors have pockets of fans online, but nothing to this extent," says Trevor Dayton, a vice-president at Indigo, Canada's leading bookseller. "Stephenie Meyers Twilight series is the first social networking best seller."

Executives in the book industry have long understood that the Internet can help authors connect with fans, of course. Major releases are usually backed by author videos, a Web site, and interviews with influential book bloggers.

But Meyer, a 34-year-old mother of three from Phoenix, went well beyond standard marketing. She engaged with online readers to answer their most detailed questions about the star-crossed lovers, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. She put up her own Web site, in addition to the one by her publisher, Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, posting her personal e-mail address and family photos. And with Little Brown's help, Meyer threw a real-life prom for her Net fans last year, drawing a huge crowd decked out in flowing vampire capes and fake leg casts in homage to the accident-prone Bella.

Meyer's readers have responded by creating an entire world of Twilight on the Web. Cousins Chris McElvogue and Georgina Tena launched Twilighters.org last year to discuss the books with other readers. Now their site follows every stitch of Twilight news, from plans for book release parties to gossip about the Twilight movie due out in December. The Internet is the best way to connect with other fans, says McElvogue. Twilight has grown into such a sprawling franchise that it has become difficult for Meyer, who declined to comment for this story, to stay as involved online as in the past.

Her success is a rare bright spot in the gloomy book industry. Book publishers have struggled for years as Americans turn to other forms of entertainment, from cable TV to video games. Publishers have responded by cranking out ever more new titles, hitting 411,422 last year, up from 247,777 in 2002, according to researcher R.R. Bowker. Yet industry revenues, at $41 billion, are barely growing.

With hits increasingly rare, many book publishers suffer from boom and bust cycles. Most major houses live and die by the blockbuster, says Michael Norris, analyst with researcher Simba Information. A publisher's revenue may be up 10% one year and down 10% the next, depending on the performance of just one or two books out of thousands. Scholastic pulled in $240 million from its Harry Potter franchise in the first quarter after the release of Deathly Hallows last summer but saw that figure drop to a mere $10 million in the most recent quarter.

Now authors are beginning to imitate the online strategies Meyer pioneered in hopes of creating communities of engaged readers.

The hits Freakonomics, The 4-Hour Workweek, and The Last Lecture have been backed by similar efforts. "Her success has inspired other authors," says Jennifer Northcutt, fiction buyer at Borders Group, the second-largest U.S. bookstore chain. "Theyve learned you have to be active online."

Twilight was born on June 2, 2003. As Meyer explained on her site, she woke up that morning after a dream about a striking teenage vampire in a sunny meadow with an ordinary girl. The youngsters were falling in love, but the vampire was torn between his desire for the girl's affection and for her blood. That day, between making lunch and taking her three young sons -- ages 1, 3, and 5 -- to swimming lessons, Meyer wrote 10 pages. After that, she couldn't stop.

She moved a desk into the middle of her living room so she could work while her kids played nearby.

She wrote late into the night, blasting progressive rock on her headphones.

In those first few weeks, Meyer was exhausted but ecstatic. After graduating from Brigham Young University with an English major in 1995, the stay-at-home mom could never finish the stories she tried writing. Twilight was different. She says she could hear the couple's voices in her head. The writing came easily. The series begins with Bella moving reluctantly to soggy Forks, Wash. She meets Edward on the first day at her new high school. The dangers of their forbidden relationship propel the story. Meyer finished writing in three months.

She soon had a $750,000, three-book deal, a vast sum for a first-time author. (With the millions in royalties since, her husband, an auditor, was able to quit his job recently to look after their kids.)

Marketing for the 2005 book launch started with the standard Net fare. Meyer did interviews with bloggers, and Little Brown created a darkly gothic Web site. But the author thought the site's design didn't fit her personality. So she created the more lighthearted Stepheniemeyer.com.

She plastered it with photos of herself and her fans at readings and provided a wry autobiography, with tales of growing up in a Brady Bunch-size family. She also gave bubbly updates on her book tours and peeks into her home life. One photo showed her sons at Halloween, dressed as a Power Ranger, Napoleon Dynamite, and Captain Hook.

Fans were drawn in primarily by their love of the book. The relationship between Edward and Bella may be the stuff of fantasy, but it mirrors the real-life angst and passion of the teenage years. What set Twilight apart was the way teens tracked down fellow readers immediately after closing the books. Within a month of the first book's release, fan sites began to appear. Brittany Gardener started a MySpace group to discuss the book after reading it in one night in December 2006.

Her group eventually drew 60,000 members.

Meyer eagerly followed her fans online. She'd never heard of MySpace, but once she discovered Gardener's group, she signed up. She started dropping in, answering fans' questions. ("If Bella ever had a pet, would it be hard for Edward to come around?" "What percent of vampires occupy America?")

Meyers involvement inspired her fans. Lori Joffs, a stay-at-home mom in Nashville, fell in love with Twilight in early 2006 and began writing a version of the book from Edward's point of view. In February, Joffs posted her rewrite of four chapters at FanFiction.net.

Two weeks later, Meyer left a review: "I'm having a great time reading your vision of things." Joffs says she was thrilled and e-mailed Meyer explaining that she wanted to start a Web site to organize the book's facts. Meyer replied that she loved the idea and offered to fill in the characters' backstories. That April, Joffs created Twilight Lexicon, now the most popular fan site, drawing 30,000 daily visitors.

In 2006, Meyer used the Net to meet fans in person. On her Web site, she arranged "I Love Edward" parties, gathering with her readers in libraries and bookstores. Fans began traveling thousands of miles to participate.

Meyer kept trying new ways to reach out to readers. During a book signing in the fall of 2006 for New Moon, the second book, college student Kady Weatherford joked that Meyer should throw a Twilight prom. Meyer relayed the idea to Little Brown, which liked it and helped organize the event. In November, Meyer announced the prom online just ahead of the launch of the third book in the series. The 500-guest event sold out in six hours, prompting the committee to add another prom. It also sold out.

On May 5, 2007, fans crammed into an Arizona State University gym. They whooped wildly when Meyer, in a burgundy dress with her dark hair up in ringlets, climbed onstage.

After the release of Eclipse in August 2007, thousands of people started showing up at her signings. Meyer took her e-mail address off her site and kept in touch mainly through exchanges on fan sites. In December she visited TwilightMOMS. "Hi, my fellow moms," she wrote. "It's just so cool that I'm not the only 30+ mom and wife in love with fictional underage vampires and werewolves."

Still, the distance between the superstar author and her Internet fan base is widening. Meyer has two books out this year, Breaking Dawn and The Host, her first adult book. She also consulted on the $37 million Twilight movie. While Meyer and her publicist keep fan sites in the loop on key events, she can't maintain the close personal contact with readers she used to have.

On her blog and MySpace page, the chatty, personal reports have given way to more standard marketing.

And in a major shift, Meyer is asking fans to pull back online. On July 7 she asked the top sites to close their forums three weeks before Breaking Dawn's premiere so that early readers couldn't spoil the plot by revealing details. Most fans are complying. But some aren't happy. "This seems so incredibly counterintuitive to me," wrote one on TwilightMOMS.

Meyer may have been far ahead of the book industry in building a fan base online. But she doesnt have all the answers to balancing accessibility and fame. "Stephenie is a total sweetheart," says Michelle Vieira, who started trading e-mails with Meyer in 2005. "She was open for fans to talk to. Now it's impossible. She's hugely busy."

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY

Status: In the middle of a housing crisis and not able to write on my projects currently--even though a part of me is screaming to! lol

Doing: Taking it easy.

Watching: The shadows on the wall--as the sun goes by.

Listening to: "She Sells Sanctuary"--by Rare Cult; "Ten Thousand Fists"--by Disturbed.

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 504.

TOPIC: NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.

It's been a few busy days for this struggling writer. I went and got some packing boxes from Wal-Mart and my wife and I are getting ready to start packing up the remainder of our things rather soon.

We haven't heard anything from Oxford Squares Apartments, but it doesn't seem like all bad news to us. After all, no news is good news...right?

The weather has been oppressively hot and I've been suffering because of that. It wouldn't surprise me if my INR numbers dropped another full percentage point from last month's readings.

My garden's doing much better this time around and the Purple Haze carrots have started to blossom. I've been trying to figure out exactly what to put them in--but seeing how the styrofoam cups have been a massive boom for me...?

Why not use containers?

I've also started to write on my short stories again after 11 years of doing nothing with them. The 31 volumes of short stories has a broad range of topics from Native Americanism to time travel.

Each short story touches on some theme and runs about 100-200 pages minimum. I finished 4 from the first volume entitled, DreamScapes. But they need to be rewritten anyways.

So that's what I've been doing for the last few days--in an attempt to keep my mind off what will lay ahead for me and April. It's not going to be easy by a long shot.

Moving and having to compress everything is never easy. Being on such limited income is even equally hard and depressing--because I have to literally come up with a new payment schedule or something; just to make this work.

And it's going to be months before I go back to what I was doing before.

This is assuming--of course--we pass the credit check and are able to move at all.

No matter what--uncertainty still plagues people like me in situations such as this. It's just a part of the life we live.

No matter how much we try to change it for the better.

We are who we always will be.

Sky

A QUIET WEEKEND.

Status: In the middle of a housing crisis and not able to write on my projects currently--even though a part of me is screaming to! lol

Doing: Taking a break from all this running around.

Watching: The shadows on the wall--as the sun goes by.

Listening to: "Anthem"--by Filo and Peri (7:47 Original version)

Reading: Kushiel's Scion. Page 504.


TOPIC: A SMALL BREATHER BEFORE THINGS BEGIN AGAIN.

Things were pretty nuts since Friday. April and I spent that day literally walking around and getting things done which we need done immediately.

Though I lack the money now to do anything about this month's current need for more credit check apps; we're hoping that one will be enough.

I have just a little money left over to get April her blood-pressure meds from Wal-Mart and I'm left debating whether I should get another bag of catfood or some boxes. (I left my bills, my $30 stash of monthly comics, and Kushiel's Mercy to the mercy of the gods themselves--and used that extra money to get some supplies and other essentials for the house: More on this, little on that...plus we grabbed some food along the way as well. After all, you can't walk 7 hours straight without having at least some kind of fuel for the long road ahead.)

But we were both worn out and exhausted from our ordeal and have to worry about the next month.

Oddly enough, we still haven't heard from the ALJ yet--so we're dreading that decision as well--because this does have a major impact on what's going to happen to both me and April down the road.

But gauging how long it's taking the judge longer and longer to get back--it must mean something. After all, when you're struck down with as many health problems and disabilities as I have had in my current 34 years of living; rarely do things improve or get better overnight.

I've had to live and adapt to my cerebral palsy, but it doesn't mean that I'm cured of my host problem. I just wonder why is it that the government agencies and those whom deal with people like me have to force me to go on living a lie; by insinuating that the only way I can keep my benefits is to act both handicapped and retarded at the same time; depending on the nature of the disability itself.

It's going to be a rather large disapppointment for them--seeing how I can't go back to the way I originally was. :0)

I'm a little calmer today than I have been in weeks. Maybe that's a good sign...who knows? I'll take as much peace and quiet as I can for the time being before the rat race begins again.

Monday, I have to go and drop off that paperwork to housing--while we wait on our new cap limits update.

Sky